tsokolate at kape

like I said before

2006-04-22T12:30:00.000+08:00

I'm out of here, see you there!

and another year has passed

2006-01-05T23:55:00.000+08:00

wow, my blog has an anniversary. a year and it's still the boring-est blog ever, hehe. i'm still contemplating on whether i'll be creating a new blog or not. i want to, but then i don't. labo no? well, what's new? pero teka, sabi ni tops magbago na daw ako. may bago naman ah, may bago akong laruan! isang canon powershot A70! yehyehyeh! pero hindi akin yun, hiram lang. may bago akong sandals, isang pares ng happy feet na nagpapaiyak ng paa ko (medyo masakit kasi gawa ata sa mahogany yun eh). anyway, another senseless entry for this mini-occassion. still weighing on that new blog. good night.

should have known then

2006-01-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

You scored as Sociology. You should be a Sociology major!

Socioloogy

100%

Biology

100%

Psychology

92%

Anthropology

83%

Mathematics

75%

Philosophy

75%

Linguistics

67%

English

58%

Engineering

58%

Chemistry

42%

Journalism

33%

Theater

25%

Art

17%

Dance

17%

What is your Perfect Major?
created with QuizFarm.com

naks, totoo kaya ito? honest naman ang mga sagot ko... oh well.

january na..

2006-01-01T21:35:00.000+08:00

..naman. last january, naisip kong gumawa ng blog kasi na-enganyo ako dahil parang masayang magpakitang-gilas sa pagsulat online.. kaso wala pala ako nung gilas, pakita lang, hehe. anyway, belated happy christmas sa inyo mga friends and others. wala kasi ako dito sa lungga ko nung pasko dahil dun kami nag-pasko ng aking mga kaanak sa pangasinan. i love pangasinan, masaya ako pag nandun ako. downside: tumataba ako ng sobra. doon kasi, 3 times a day kumain ang mga tao at maaga pa matulog. well, di bale, malalagas din ang aking extra pounds dahil balik na naman sa haggard na buhay. hopefully matapos na ang ojt ko, kaunti na lang! haaay, i hate thesis forever. parang nalulunod ako sa kawalan pag iniisip ko yung thesis ko. buti na lang may mga nakakatuwang bagay tulad ng digicam. ooops, wala akong digicam, pero gustong-gusto ko magkaroon. kaya talaga namang pinag-iipunan ko iyon, kaso nga lang, nauna kong binili ang aking computer kaya nalagasan talaga ng todo ang savings ko. good thing, meron akong tito/kuya na super bait na nagpahiram sa akin ng cam for our Sagada getaway! yehey! kahit pala may mga sobrang samang mga bagay na nangyayari dahil sa mga walang kasing samang tao, eh hindi pa rin ako totally nakakalimutan sa Itaas. meron pa ring mga ganitong pangyayari na kahit papaano ay pwedeng makapagpabawas ng mga sama ng loob ko.

hindi ako yung tao na gumagawa talaga ng mga new year's resolution dahil hindi ko rin naman natutupad yung mga supposed resolutions ko. pero siguro for this year, magiging mas strict ako sa sarili, todo aral na to magdamag!! siyempre, hindi yan totoo. ako pa, crammer ako sa isip, sa puso, at sa gawa. pero siyempre, kelangan more serious approach on life in general. i plan to list down ALL my expenses starting today. todo ipon na uli. para din may control ako sa allowance ko, alam ko kung ano gaano ba ako kagastos talaga. magiging mas passive na rin siguro ako, hindi na masyadong react ng react sa mga bagay-bagay, bahala ng mapatay. more time devoted to making sure my sister and brother are not going to become corrupted in any way by the damned. more time to prayer. more time for myself. more time for productivity. in short, sana po mahaba pa ang buhay ko para magawa ko pa yan. nga pala, baka new blog na rin, pag-iisipan ko pa bago mag-1 year anniversary ang blog na ito.

ps: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SA AKING EVERDEAREST MARK ANTHONY SOLOMON RONE!! blowout!! happy birthday Jerry Yan Cheng Xu, hehe!!

brrrrr

2005-12-15T09:50:00.000+08:00

Every Girls Dream
1. Get kissed in the rain.
2. Have that one hot kiss where you're pressed against the wall. (aba, lustful, hehe)
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world. (gusto ko, universe pa)
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs. (yeah, i love hugs!)
5. A boy that whispers he loves you in your ear.
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into each other's eyes. (nge, mushy)
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about.
9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breath in, his scent surrounds you. (mushier ha)
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand.
12. A boy that says he loves you and means it. (dapat lang)
13. A guy that will play your favorite song outside your window.
14. A guy who is loyal. (very loyal)
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable...not just hot, fine, or sexy. (awww, ako lahat to eh, wehehe)
18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look. (try nya lang, judge ko rin sya)
19. A boy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile. (ay hindi ako mags-smile)
20. A boy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends.
21. A boy that tells you everything honestly.
22. A boy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family. (true!)
23. A guy that will always let you win. (ouch, hehe)
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who it is against.
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi' and see how your day has been. (stalker type? =p)
26. A boy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better.
27. A boy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet.
28. A boy who you can hangout and have fun with. (yeah! arcades! amusement parks!)
29. A boy that will just randomly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you.
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance. (aba dapat lang, ako pa, ang extreme ng moods ko)
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you you make his day better, just for being you.
#
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
#
Repost iyan galing sa bulletin board sa Friendster.
May trangkaso ako.. nahawa ata ako kay NIELS IAN CASTILLO BADILLO RAYADILLO dahil nung Tuesday nilalagnat siya at magkatabi kami. Ang mokong na yun, meron pala siyang bulutong! Buti na lang nagkaroon na ako at sana hindi ako kasama sa .1% ng mga taong nauulit ang pagkakaroon ng bulutong. Nakakainis, gusto ko pumasok ngayon sa ojt, tapos balak ko pa mag-half day para makapanood ng FA lantern parade. Argh, gusto ko pa naman makita yung parol namin dahil tumulong ako sa paggawa nun. Oblation run din pala mamaya, from Quezon hall to AS ang drama nila ngayong taon. Huli kong panood ay yung unang beses ko rin, which is nung 1st year college pa. Oh well. Christmas party ng FLIPP kahapon. Masaya naman, kahit pa ba nagtaray ako ng slight sa open forum. Sana maging maayos na ang org namin at magkaroon na ng total unity ang mga tao. Belated happy birthday Ginoong Babbit!
ps: PapaLoyd, good luck sa 1st day mo! Pakisabi na lang yun sinabi ko sayo ha. Thank you!

tired

2005-12-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

these past few days have been so tiring for me. ngayon ko lang ata na-experience yung sunod-sunod na gabi na bagsak ako sa kama pagdating ko ng bahay at didilat na lang uli para malaman na 5:30 am na pala. siguro hindi lang ako talaga sanay sa kakaibang schedule ko this sem. may "work" na kasing kailangan pasukan at kailangan pag-igihan. waaaaah, pagod = mental retardation, or something like that.. basta soooobrang pagod ko, nakakatulog na ako kahit saan. read: kahit saan na pwede kong ilapag ang ulo ko. bukas, ayala na naman ang larga ko. sana matapos ko na ang sandamakmak na hours na yan para maumpisahan ko na ang pag-asikaso sa bwakanang thesis na yan. argh! hay naku, buti na lang there are pictures as cute as this one! me loves puppies!

asdfgh

2005-12-03T01:33:00.000+08:00

goodbye to you
goodbye to everything that I knew
you were the one I loved
the one thing that I tried to hold on to...
...I still get lost in your eyes
and it seems that I can't live a day without you
closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away...
...and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.
#
He's out of my life
He's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life

It's out of my hands
It's out of my hands
To think for two years he was here
And I took him for granted I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
He's out of my hands

So I've learned that love's not possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late

He's out of my life
He's out of my life
Damned indecision and cursed pride
Kept my love for him locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
He's out of my life
#
drama ever, puyat na naman kasi eh. this will be the last, I promise. there is nothing more to hold on to. i will now finally have to move on. i am not the reason anymore. it's about time i give him rest, rid him of myself. live and let live. i choose to die.

november post

2005-11-30T23:55:00.000+08:00

yeah, this is just one big filler. or not. haven't been putting stuff in here for a while, been too busy with my "other" life to bother. what's been up for the past month? well, for starters, i exited the first semester quite gracefully. no failing marks, thank goodness! i was SO sure i would fail at least half of my 18 units. but thanks to prayers, blood, sweat, tears, a new computer and my formidable partner-in-crime, i was forced to use every ounce of chakra in me to put up until the very last requirements. unfortunately, i only found out about my grades after my "birthday" so i spent all days before the day i got my classcards in misery. well, at least now i have a flat "uno" to show for. =)
#
i didn't make a birthday post last month mainly because i was in a very un-birthday mood. you see, my dearest grandfather (whom i call Papa) died (see previous entry) a day before my little brother's (Shamir) birthday. and to think that all i wanted for my birthday was for all of us (my mom's side of the family) to be in one place, even if it means i have to take care of all my little cousins and bear with the bickerings of my titas. well, we did have a party the sunday before Shamir's bday, he celebrated it earlier since his bday falls on a tuesday. that sunday, we were all in one place. it was crazy, Shamir had a birthday party with all the balloons and parlour games and stuff. i was the "yaya" for all my cousins (five cousins, ages 1,3,4,6,11) but it was well worth it. all my titas were there, and yes, they were bickering. my grandfather's brother and his family also visited. they were balikbayans from the US and were there because of my sick Papa. it was so heartwarming for me, that eventhough it wasn't my birthday, i was glad that it happened all the same. the following morning, my Papa died in his sleep. it was a very big shock. i was to go to school that morning to take my finals in a major subject. i told my mom that i could ask for an excuse, but my grandmother (who of course is Mama) told me that Papa wouldn't want me to do that. i ended up taking the exam that morning. i couldn't cry at all. i was still in the worst shock of my life. the strongest, most reliable, kindest person i know died in our house days before my birthday. maybe you're thinking that i'm probably reacting way too much, well, the story of my life would never have started if my Papa and Mama hadn't put it upon themselves to take care of me. you see, my parents were to busy with their careers to even bother themselves with me. my mom was very intelligent and hardworking. my father was an ambitious one. anyway, im glad that i grew up with my grandparents because they never neglected me once in the first years of my life. i wore black up until the 40th day after his death. i wanted to cry each day but i couldn't. i was thinking maybe i used up all my tears crying for those who didn't deserve it. we had Papa buried at the Heritage Memorial Park in Fort Bonifacio. it's a very, very nice place. lots of greenery, man-made lagoon, wide open spaces. very unlike the "usual" eerie looking cemeteries seen on tv. we stayed there overnight last undas, very nice. the next overnight will probably be on new year's eve, i hope. this picture was taken on one of our trips to the memorial park, i'm loving it.

#
aamin na ako, ayoko talaga ng birthdays. lalong-lalo na sigurong ayaw ko ang birthday ko. kasi naman, tuwing birthday ko na lang ay may nangyayaring hindi kanais-nais na mga bagay. hindi ko na marahil dapat pang isa-isahin dito ang mga bagay na iyon pero sa mga nakakaalam, siguro naman dapat na kayong sumang-ayon dito. may isa kasing bagay na nangyayari tuwing birthday ko na hindi pumapalya bawat taon. kahit anong ganda ng umaga, kahit anong saya ng araw, hindi matatapos ang birthday ko ng hindi ako iiyak. ewan ko ba, sinumpa na ata ako na tuwing tatanda ako, dapat tutulo din ang luha ko. nitong nakaraang birthday ko, ganoon na naman uli ang nangyari. akala ko pa naman makakatakas na ako sa sumpa kasi nasa probinsya na ako, kaso hindi pala. teka, baka ang iniisip ninyo pinaiyak ako ni Andrei ha, well, hindi siya ang nakapag-paiyak sa akin. ako pa nga ata ang nakapagpaiyak sa kanya eh, sorry kuya, kain na lang tayo sa taxtons (ewww). basta ganun na nga ang drama ng birthday ko, sana sa mga susunod na taon kung aabot pa ako dun, hindi na kailangan tumulo ng mga luha ko pag birthday ko na.
#
sa baguio nga pala ako nag-celebrate ng birthday. sabi kasi ni Mama, bumili daw kami ng walis sa baguio kasi maganda ang walis dun, kaya ayun, nung oct 26, umakyat kami galing ng pangasinan patungong baguio. iilan lang naman kami, si Mama, ako, dalawang pinsang nakababata, si Shamir, at isang tita ko na kinita na lang namin sa dagupan. ay, kasama pala si kuya, hay naku, mahilig kasi makisawsaw eh, nagpalibre pa ng pamasahe, di na nahiya! hehe! nakitulog na nga siya sa amin nung nakaraang gabi, sumama pa sa baguio. iba na ito, baka type nya ako hindi kaya? ayun na nga, ikot-ikot sa baguio, sa SM baguio, hehe. kumain pa pala muna kami sa isang chinese restaurant malapit sa burnham park, ang sarap ng pagkain dun! sayang lang, di ko na maalala yun pangalan ng resto, rose bowl chorva ata. pagkatapos kumain, nag-SM, pagkatpos pumunta na ng palengke para bumili ng walis, gulay, tumaya ng lotto, bumili ng pasalubong para sa mga taga-taytay, magtingin ng ukay-ukay, etceteramus. nag-bike pa pala yun mga bata malapit sa burnham park bago kami umuwi, kaya nagpahinga muna kami habang nag-aantay. nakakain pa nga kami dun ng dirtiest dirty ice cream. haha, walang laban ang meningococcemia! nagulat na lang kami at kailangan ng magmadali dahil baka maiwan na kami ng bus. and that ends the baguio trip. bitin ba? tinatamad na ako mag-type eh, hindi rin ako creative magkwento. marami pang nangyari, pero ang haba kung ita-type.

#
ngayong sem, 15 units na lamang ako. sa 15 na iyon, 6 units ang major subjects at ang natitira ay GE. ang masasabi ko lang, gaga ako dahil nagtira-tira pa ako ng GE! yung dalawang majors ko, thesis at practicum. siyempre, hindi ko pa nauumpisahan yun thesis, concentrate muna sa practicum. nagt-training ako ngayon sa Filipinas Heritage Library sa may ayala, makati. ayun lang, share ko lang. kailangan ko pa ng at most 150 hours para makumpleto ang quota ko. kaya yan, hindi na nga ako nagla-lunch break para di sayang ang oras. 9-5 ang shift ko pero dahil adik ako, nagiging 8-530 madalas ang shift ko. masipag naman pala ako eh! pwede na ako mag-asawa! (uyyy, pagchi-chismisan na naman ako!) hayaan nyo, pag nag-asawa ako, iimbitahan ko kayong lahat sa binyag ng anak ko. =p mabalik sa pag-aaral ko, yung mga natitira kong GE ay pasakit. isang sociology 101 na halos lahat ay mga 03-05 ang student number. isang cl 40, na interesante naman pero nakakaantok. at isang anhtopology 179, na may field trip malamang sa sagada na im sure gagawing excuse ng isa kong magaling na classmate para maging "more than just friends" kami. please lang! ang goal ko na lang muna ay matapos ng maaga ang ojt hours ko para masimulan na ang thesis. ay shet, meron pa pala akong orgs! pagod! ok lang na wala munang social life, meron naman akong workplace socialization na na-e-experience ngayon eh. nagp-practice na akong maging masunuring empleyada. hopefully, mag-work diba? kakaumpisa ko pa lang naman eh, i'll do my best! aba, andrea? ikaw ba yan? basta what i know is that i have to triple my efforts. and then finally, i should cut YOU some slack. i'm sorry for being the bossiest, most selfish, yet undeniably lovable still.. anyway, i'm sorry. thank you for understanding, always.

...

2005-10-17T10:35:00.000+08:00

GOD'S GARDEN MUST BE BEAUTIFUL

God saw you getting tired,

When a cure was not to be.

So He wrapped His arms around you,

And whispered, "Come to Me".

You didn't deserve what you went through,

So He gave you rest.

God's garden must be beautiful,

He only picks the best.

And when I saw you sleeping,

So peaceful and free from pain,

I could not wish you back

To suffer that again.

R.I.P.
Alfredo Mandapat Escaño
April 28, 1934 - October 10, 2005

Mahal na mahal po namin kayo, Papa. Hinding-hindi kami makakalimot sa inyo. Pangako po na gagawin ko ang lahat ng makakaya ko para tuparin ang mga hiniling ninyo sa akin. Inaru taka, papang ko.

when september ends..

2005-09-26T01:15:00.000+08:00

.. it will be october, my other favorite month!
#
tomorrow will be the start of the last week of this semester. whew! parang di ko masyado na-feel ang first sem ah. hindi ko pa tapos ang proposal ko, may exams pa kami na hindi pa ko nakakapag-aral, may group project pa na hindi nauumpisahan pero ang pakiramdam ko handang-handa na ako sa sembreak. naks, sembreak na.. hehe, birthday ko na! yeh! magtatago ako! joke, not really.. may mahalaga kasi akong trabaho this break kaya medyo busy din kahit papaano. ang wish ko lang for my birthday ay makumpleto ang pamilya ko kahit sa araw lang na yun at makakain kami ng masarap. =)
#
back to the soon-to-end semester, nagpa-gradpic pala ako last wednesday. ayun, mukha akong drag queen (prinsesa nga dapat eh.. *insert: me, camwhoring before posing for my creative shot*). hehe, di naman daw sabi ng mga nakakita, pero i really feel talaga na over ang make-up ko dun.. o baka hindi lang talaga ako sanay na makita ang sarili ko na madaming kolorete sa mukha. try ko mag-post ng contact prints kung okay ha? try lang. =p
#
pag iniisip kong malapit na akong makawala sa peyups, parang umaayaw ako deep inside. hindi ko pa ata kayang karirin ang ibang bagay maliban sa pag-aaral at pagiging iskolar na bayan. nagsenti daw ba ako? nagkaroon nga ng dinner party si dyan tablante last week, hindi naman ako nakapunta dahil di ako pinayagan. anyway, pumasa pala kasi siya sa board exam. naks, buti pa si dyan, board passer na.. ako, ni hindi pa nga passer this sem! >_<
#
may nilalaro pala ako ngayon.. hehe, natapos ko na kasi (na naman) yung Starcraft eh.. pahinga muna ako dun. ayun na nga, click nyo naman pls, para magkapera ako dun sa alternate world ko na yun. no need to sign up, okay na yung click lang yung link. thanks! Click me!
#
generally, my semester was okay. i bought a lot of stuff, i spent a lot of my savings, mostly when i bought myself a computer. at the start of the year, i was planning on buying myself a new cellphone, but upon deliberating for some weeks, i decided not to do it. thankfully, my mom did that for me, she bought me a new unit the same month i bought my pc without me even begging her to. =) after soliciting from relatives, i even had enough cash to buy a printer. now i wouldn't have to ask other people at ungodly hours to help me print my papers. =) come to think of it, i have a lot of things and people to thank for, it's nice to know i haven't been a waste for these past months.
#
i almost forgot, thanks a whole bunch to my new orgmates from Piccola Italia. you made this semester even more fruitful and fun for me. i'm sending out my apologies as early as now because i might not be as available for the coming semester. the same goes to my UP FLIPP orgmates. also, i signed up for the yearbook committee. i don't know why i did it, but i did and i don't think i could still back out. hopefully, the yearbook will be something i'd be able to show off to my grandkids in the future, saying something like, "look, lola has the nicest write-up and the best pictures on this yearbook!" haha, i wish! =)

inaantok ka na ba?

2005-08-30T01:59:00.000+08:00

madaling araw na po..at hindi pa ako dinadapuan ng antok. kakatapos ko lang ma-download ang akap ng imago. pinapatugtog ko ang playlist ko na opm lang ang laman, halos mga banda rito at banda roon ang mga kanta. gusto ko yung kanta ng rivermaya na "himala". hindi ko alam kung bakit at wala na akong balak na alamin pa. naiinis ako. kung kelan naman kasi ako nagkaroon ng p2p sharing program chuva, hindi ko naman alam kung ano ang ida-download. tuwing online na lang ako, nakatunganga na lang ako palagi. madalas nakakalimutan ko pa na online ako dahil bigla ko na lang maiisip na gusto ko pala tignan yung mga aso ko sa labas ng bahay namin at magtatagal na ako dun. sana matauhan na ako bago mahuli ang lahat..kahit hentaiers nakakalimutan ko na i-download, wahaha! change is inevitable talaga, pakshet.

Wanted: MARY JANE MORANDARTE
hahahaha! wala lang, iniinis lang kita! inilagay mo kasi yung pangalan ko sa blog mo eh..pero kung tutuusin, di naman halata eh..pero iinisin pa rin kita! ^_^
salamat dun sa poem na pinost mo sa blog mo para mabasa ko.. marahil ay tama ka nga. iyon na nga mismo ang nangyari, at higit pa.

Ten Reasons Why
1. There's nothing wrong with your smile or breath.
2. I just can't breathe.
3. I feel like we're both underwater.
4. I miss my friends.
5. I miss my time.
6. I miss breathing my own air.
7. We're starting to become one of those couples.
8. We're beginning to share a personality.
9. They never mention me without mentioning you in the same sentence.
10. I want my own sentence.

*from I Am Wings: Poems About Love, a collection of poems by Ralph Fletcher

muli, salamat marijuana. =)

tuesday post

2005-08-23T00:58:00.000+08:00

Burnout - Sugarfree

o wag kang tumingin
ng ganyan sa 'kin
wag mo akong kulitin
wag mo akong tanungin

dahil katulad mo
ako rin ay nagbago
di na tayo katulad ng dati
kay bilis ng sandali

o kay tagal din kitang minahal

kung iisipin mo
di naman dati ganito
teka muna teka lang
kailan tayo nailang

kung iisipin mo
di naman dati ganito
kay bilis kasi ng buhay
pati tayo natangay

o kay tagal din kitang minahal

tinatawag kita
sinusuyo kita
di mo man n a r i n i g
di mo man n a d a m a

o kay tagal kitang mamahalin

wala lang

2005-08-20T11:18:00.000+08:00

walang magawa ngayon. kababangon ko pa lang at nagbukas kaagad ako ng computer. tinatamad pa ako lumabas ng kwarto, at lalo na ng bahay. ayoko din gumastos. sana nga maluto na ang ulam namin dahil gutom na rin ako. sana masarap ang ulam at hindi lang mabango ng gaya ng naamoy ko ngayon. miss na miss ko na si jennifer ko. hay naku, ang tagal mag-reply sa aming update chuva. =(
ang daming nangyayari sa buhay-buhay. minsan nga naiisip ko sana huminto muna ang oras para makapag-pahinga naman ang mga tao. sana walang pasok sa monday para makapag-pahinga ang nanay ko. puro trabaho na lang kasi eh. sana makatapos na ako para makatulong. ang ganda ng mga orgmates ko sa UP FLIPP, siyempre ako din, mwehehehe. =)

as a mythical beast

2005-08-20T11:00:00.000+08:00

Also known widely as the Fire Bird, the phoenix is a profound symbol of life and rebirth. It has a life cycle of 500 to 600 years and after that amount of time, it sets itself on fire and dies in the flames. Then, after three days, it rises again from the ashes. It is a completely benign creature who lives in dew. It is said that the phoenix has a beautiful melodious song which grows ever more mournful as its life comes to an end. It is also a symbol of the sun and immortality.

What mythical beast best represents you?Take the quiz!

blogthings again

2005-07-31T22:05:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you are a bit stingy.

You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's the True You?

aftermath

2005-07-30T14:40:00.000+08:00

yehba.. kakauwi ko lang from the I LISten concert.. joke! kagabi pa yun.. =p
sobrang enjoy naman, kahit na nung una eh nasa sidelines lang kami ng ibang orgmates ko. puro ulo lang ng mga tao ang nakikita namin, oh well, baka ako lang ang puro ulo ang nakikita kasi ang tangkad ko ever. eventually, puro hita at binti na lang ang nakikita namin dahil umupo na lang kami. kasama ko pala ang ever-stalker na kapatid ko na si Shanel at nandun siya nakikipagpalitan ng pawis sa harapan. iwan ba naman niya yung classmate niya sa amin ng mga orgmates ko eh, hanep. medyo kaunti lang yung tao kumpara sa last na concert na pinuntahan ko sa Bahay ng Alumni. pero naman, free concert for the freshies yun dati eh, at saka fopc yun na kasali pala kami nwehe. hindi ko alam kung ilang tickets lang ang binenta nila pero lahat naubos naman. maaga lang kasi nagsarta ng doors para ma-control daw yung crowd. ang dami pa naman willing magbayad kahit wala ng ticket, at take note, hindi mga squatters ang mga iyon. puro babae nga eh.. sayang, pera din yun. kaso ayaw na pumayag ng mga bossing na magpapasok pa eh. okay na sa kanila ang kinita nila, ayaw ng extra. maluwag pa nga yung Bahay eh, pero napuno din naman lalo na nung nag-start na tumugtog yung 4 na main acts (Spongecola, MYMP, Cambio at Hale). ang daming fans ng MYMP, bilib ako. pati yung coñotic na mga lalake na mukhang mga la sallista, todo sigaw nung MYMP na. ang galeng ng performance nila, at nakakaiyak ang Tell Me Where It Hurts. ='( okay din naman yung mga supporting acts. yung first na tumugtog (kung tama yung pagkakaalala ko) e yung Wanwurd at good luck, classmate pala namin sa ILIS yung vocalist! hello Rocky! ang galeng nila, kaya pala sikat yung mokongs na yun. una yung Spongecola sa main acts, okay naman pala sila live (jeepney!). ang saya makipagsigwan. buti nga at hindi ako napaos ngayon. in between main bands yung mga supporting acts. basta nung Cambio na, nandun na ko sa tabi ng stage. yehey! first time ko yun, and probably last na rin unless magpa-concert uli kami. ang saya! kaya tuloy nagkaroon kami ng pic ni hari ng sablay Ebe (inset) yahu! ang saya, naging instat groupie ako, nakatawa. nahawa ako bigla sa kapatid ko. yung kapatid ko naman, kung kani-kanino nagpa-autograph at nakipag-picture-an. may picture din pala ako with diego mapa. nanakatawa kasi hindi ko siya kilala, sinabi lang sa akin ng orgmate ko kung sino siya after kami kuhanan ng pic. chorva! vocalist din pala siya ng Cambio at kapatid niya si Jao Mapa. muntik na mahulog rin pala siya mahulog sa stage nung nagpe-perform sila. paano ba naman, talon ng talon, kawawa yung mga babagsakan niya. hanep yung kapatid ko, nung nakita niya na nasa tabi na ako ng stage, bigla na lang "ate! ate, ang sakit na ng paa ko.. ate, ate! diyan na lang ako ha?" at sabay tawid ng harang at hawak sa akin. aba, naalala niya na kasama pala niya ako! ayun, nakatawid sa harang, nagwala na. Hale lang naman ang habol niya talaga, gaya ng marami sa audience. nung dumating ang Hale, ayun, nagkagulo na mga tao sa backstage. nagsusungit pa yung manager ng Hale. ayun na nga, naging instant bouncer tuloy kami ng orgmates ko dahil humngi na ng tulong yun ILIS-SC para i-control yung crowd. human-chain effect tuloy. pero siyempre, semi-pasaway ako. nakibitaw muna ako para kumuha ng pictures. =) tinugtog pa ng Hale yung fave song ko sa album nila (see previous entry) kaya ang saya! kahit napagod ako ng sobra (nung umaga kasi nanggaling pa ako ng DepEd, 9:30a-4p ako dun dahil lang sa pag-aantay ng request chuva para sa preliminary research ko, grrrrrr) nabawi naman dahil nakakanta ako ng malakas! hah! ang nilangaw ng tuluyan ay yung mga huling tumugtog pagkatapos ng Hale, dahil nag-alisan ang mga tao bago pa sila nagsimula. mga 3 bands pa ata yun eh. kawawa naman. ang naiwan na lang siguro eh mga kaibigan nila. wala pang 100 yung naiwan dun eh, kasama pa dun yung mga naglilinis at mga taga-ILIS. all in all, masaya ang gabi. masaya ang mga tao kahit na may mga kaunting hindi kanais-nais na nangyari. ayun, pagod na ako mag-type. nwehehe. =)

kung wala daw

2005-07-25T23:13:00.000+08:00

Kung Wala Ka - Hale

Natapos na ang lahat
Nandito pa rin ako
Hetong nakatulala
Sa mundo

Hindi mo maiisip
Hindi mo makikita
Ang mga pangarap ko
Para sa iyo
Oh..

Hindi ko maisip
Kung wala ka
Oh..
Sa buhay ko

Nariyan ka pa ba
Hindi ka na matanaw
Kung merong madadaanang
Pasulong

Sundan mo
Ang paghimig na lulan
Na aking pinagtanto
Sundan mo
Ang paghimig ko...

*****
medyo senti effects ah.. i've been listening to this song for, uhmmm, 2weeks? nahawa na ako sa kapatid ko, adik kasi sa hale yun eh. pero ha, hindi ako nahawa sa ka-adikan nya sa hale, dito lang sa song na ito. anyway, updates pala. yung picture ng aming tuta sa previous posts ko, well, alay ko na iyan sa memory ng aming dearest donna-bear. namatay kasi siya nung wednesday, nagkasakit. akala ko pa naman okay na siya nung isang araw, lumala pala. ganun siguro talaga, kahit na naiiyak na ako ng sobra nung pag-uwi ko nung wed, wala na naman ako magagawa eh. thank God at meron pa rin akong gohan at janice na nagpapasaya sa akin tuwing uuwi ako dito sa hell, este, house namin. ayun na nga.. nabawasan ang pamilya ko. ='( wala pala pasok ngayon dahil SONA. bukas, balik eskwela na naman. sana magising ako ng maaga para hindi naman ako ma-late. may pupuntahan ako this coming wed, medyo excited na ako.. sa UP lang naman eh, pero bagong chapter na naman ng aking hopefully last year in college. please Lord, please. =)

2005-07-16T03:04:00.000+08:00

girls of STS summer04-05 (anjo, ging,me&dizzy)

2005-07-16T03:02:00.000+08:00

dyan tablante's grad party (04/14/05)

I LISten

2005-07-16T01:08:00.000+08:00

I LISten CONCERT PARTY

Performances by:
MYMP, HALE, SPONGECOLA, CAMBIO; and other bands from UP and Ateneo.
This July 29, 2005 (Friday), 7pm at the Bahay ng Alumni, UP Diliman.

This is a project of the ILIS Student Council.
Tickets are already available at Php100 each.
You can get your tickets from me by sending me a message on yahoo messenger (drea_lp) or thru text (09177926439).
FREE SNACKS from URC and discount coupons from KENNY ROGERS ! =)

*****
hay naku, good luck na lang sa concert ng council.. sana magtagumpay sila, in the sense na kahit man lang may kita sila na Php500. masyado nman akong nega sa kanila.. anyway, kulang kasi tlga sila sa publicity at planning (naks, porke may management akong subject this sem eh may nalalaman na kong planning-planning..). manonood nman ata yung buong institute eh, sna kahit dun makabawi sila. good luck na lang uli talaga.

2005-07-12T02:02:00.000+08:00

isang pekeng tuta

2005-07-12T02:01:00.000+08:00

donna-bear's first photo

down with the sickness

2005-07-06T17:30:00.000+08:00

haaaay... masama talaga ang pakiramdam ko. parang yung lahat ng sipon sa mundo nakuha ko na *ewww*. konti na lang, malamang ay trangkaso na ang bagsak ko. sana naman po ay huwag ganun ang mangyari dahil gagawin ko pa yung research ko. waaaah! monday pa lang ganito na eh, kaya di ako nakatuloy sa PE ko. kahapon buti wala kaming LIS151 kaya nakapagpahinga ako. pero, pahinga nga ba? dahil wala akong class, sinamahan ko na lang si drei sa sts nya.. ayun, nagkita kami ni rhea *hi rhea!* at nagkakwentuhan ng matagaaaaal. na-late tuloy kami sa next class namin pareho. =p in fairness, nasiyahan talaga ako sa pakikipagkwentuhan. kahit na ba hindi maganda yung mga kwento, siguro na-miss ko lang si rhea *naks!* kaya enjoy ako. nami-miss ko lang yung mga hs friends ko. =( wala naman akong reklamo sa mga orgmates ko at kaibigan sa ilis, masaya silang kasama lahat at maswerte ako sa napuntahan kong kolehiyo.. siguro miss ko lang na maging maloko at maging baliw. >=p anyway, ayun na nga. na-late ako sa fil50 ko. buti na lang report lang ang ginawa. sayang lang kasi kung dumating ako 5mins earlier, nakasama pa ako sa attendance. late din kasi mag-attendance si sir eh. ayun, boring as usual. kwentuhan lang kami dun sa likod, laro ng cellphone, hikab. gusto ko na nga umuwi kasi sobrang hilo na ako tapos nahihirapan na ako huminga. thank you talaga sa drei ko at hindi niya ko hinayaang mahulog sa hagdanan at masagasaan ng mga sasakyan. =)
mga 100 years na rin pala ang nakalipas nung huli ako nag-blog ng medyo matino ah.. mahirap kasi makagamit ng pc. hopefully next week may sarili na akong pc *crosses fingers*, please lang! >_< gusto ko na rin maumpisahan yung preliminary researches ko.. arghh! kelangan ko ikutin ang metro manila para sa mga science high schools na yan. good luck na lang sa akin.. wala akong pera.. at oras. =(

blogthings.com na naman

2005-06-05T19:24:00.000+08:00

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful. But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself. You're the perfect blend of independent and caring. You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend? Take This Quiz :-)

#####

You are 93% Scorpio

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

#####

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

#####

Your Birthdate: October 26

Your birth on the 26th day of the month (8 energy) modifies your life by increasing your capability to function and succeed in the business world.

In this environment you have the skills to work very well with others thanks to the 2 and 6 energies combining in this date.

There is a marked increase in organizational, managerial, and administrative abilities.
You are efficient and handle money very well.
You're ambitious and energetic, while generally remaining cooperative and adaptable.
You are conscientious and not afraid of responsibility.

Generally sociable and diplomatic, you tend to use persuasion rather than force.
You have a wonderful combination of being good at both the broad strokes and the fine detail; good at starting and continuing. This birthday is practical and realistic, often seeking material satisfaction.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

wow, 100%

2005-06-05T19:20:00.000+08:00

Your Deadly Sins

Wrath: 100%

Sloth: 60%

Envy: 40%

Greed: 40%

Pride: 40%

Gluttony: 20%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 43%

You will die, after conquering the world as an evil dictator.

How Sinful Are You?

2005-05-08T23:30:00.000+08:00

thank you kay Joan para sa mga pics.. =)

2005-05-08T23:28:00.000+08:00

ang arte.. hahaha..

...

2005-04-08T13:25:00.000+08:00

masama ang pakiramdam ko ngayon. sa totoo lang, kahapon pa talaga pero kaya ko pa naman kahapon eh.. ngayong umaga, wala na talaga. nagkaroon pa ako ng stiff neck kaya hindi rin ako makakain pa dahil sobrang sakit kapag ginagalaw ko yung bibig ko.. ahhhh ewan! kaya eto, type na lang muna ang pwede ko magawa.kagabi, este kaninang madaling araw pala, nakausap ko si joan sa telepono. tinawagan ko kasi siya bago ako matulog eh, ayun kwento-kwento. before pala ako tumawag, nag-text ako sa kanya kasi may tinanong ako, pati kay tinapie. sabay naman sila nag-reply pero si joan sabi niya tumawag na lang daw ako sa kanila kasi mahaba daw yung reply nya sa tanong ko. kaya ayun, mga isang oras din kami nakapag-usap hanggang sa tuluyan ng maubos ang baterya ng cordless naming telepono. sa pag-uusap namin, marami akong nakuhang sagot.. pero marami din akong lalong inisip kaya kahit mga 230 kami natapos sa usap, mga 330 pa rin ako nakatulog. kaya rin siguro may stiff neck ako ngayon.. ayun, buti nakausap ko si joan. hindi siguro kasi ako makakatulog kung hindi ko siya nakausap sa sobrang sama ng loob ko.. ang gulo talaga ng mundo. pakiramdam ko may isang bagay na importanteng nagawa ko ng tama na hindi ko nagawa dahil sa mga kahibangan ko dati. nagsisisi tuloy ako ngayon, ako din kasi ang may kasalanan ng mga dinaramdam ko ngayon.naalala ko nung high school, iniisip ko talaga may dyslexia na ako, sa math. hahaha, may ganun ba? ang sabi ko nun, baka meron akong sakit na halintulad sa dyslexia pero ang apektado eh yung abilidad ko sa math subjects ko. ang tungaks ko talaga. tuwing gabi iniisip ko kung paano ko maaayos yung sarili ko, kasi naman, ayokong humihingi ng tulong kila mommy o kay daddy. si mommy kasi, magagalit lang yun, sasabihin lang nun ang tamad ko lang. siguro nga, tamad na talaga ako mag-aral nung high school kasi nawalan ako ng gana. buti nga pumasa pa ako dun eh, hindi ko talaga inakala. si daddy naman, walang maituturo sa akin. ang naturo lang ata nya sa akin eh penmanship. naaalala ko talaga siya ang nagturo sa aking magsulat ng dikit-dikit(script) nung kinder ako. nung high school ako natutong maging dependent sa kaklase. hindi siguro ako makaka-graduate kung hindi kami nagtutulungan sa iba't ibang bagay at paraan. ngayon naguguluhan ako sa sarili ko. nagra-rant kasi ako eh. kung anu-anong naaalala ko na wala namang koneksyon sa isa't isa pero yun lang ang pumapasok sa isip ko. pinapahirapan ako ng isip ko at ng hormones ko. meron kasi ako ngayon eh, sa wakas. akala ko hindi na dadating at kelangan ko na talaga magpatingin sa doktor sa sobrang pagiging irregular ko. yung kaklase ko kasi nung high school irregular din, pero malala yung kanya, yun tipong 1 buwan diretso meron siya. yun pala, meron siyang cyst sa ovary. sabi sa amin dati, normal lang yung pagiging irregular, mawawala din pagkatapos ng mga 2-3 na taon. bakit yung sa akin ganito pa rin? pasakit talaga, kapag ganito, gusto ko na lang matulog maghapon kasi sobrang sakit ng katawan ko tapos masyado pa akong emosyonal. kagabi pa, halos maubos yung lahat ng laman ng inbox ko sa cellphone. hindi ko mapigil yung sarili ko eh, na-possess ako nung kama ni shanel. nami-miss ko na tuloy yung kama ko.. sabi ko pala dun sa huling entry ko na ikukwento ko pa yung sem-ender. ayoko na magkwento, para kasing ang tagal na nangyari nun eh.. repressed na ata. parang ayoko na rin mag-summer class. gusto ko umuwi ng probinsya kasama sila mama at papa. gusto kong malayo sa bahay namin, sa mga bagay na lagi kong ginagawa. gusto ko mapag-isa. yan lang yung napagtanto ko kagabi bago ako makatulog. hindi na talaga ako yung taong kasing masayahin nung dati. akala ko nabalik ko na, hindi pa rin pala. hindi na pala talaga babalik yung mga bagay na nawala na sa iyo. ang magagawa mo na lang eh maging matapang at maging handa sa lahat ng pwedeng dumating pa sa buhay mo, sa mga bagay na pwedeng sumira sa kung ano ka at kung anong meron ka. hindi pa rin ako sanay sa mga pagbabagong bigla na lang dumating sa akin. may ilang araw pa naman ako para mag-isip eh. mahirap maging masaya na lang palagi. mahirap din yung maging masaya dahil dapat masaya ka, kahit hindi mo naman talaga alam kung bakit nangyayari yung mga bagay-bagay na yun na pwede mo naman pigilan pero hindi mo magawa kasi may iniisip ka na namang ibang tao. hindi na ako nadala noon, kinakalimutan ko na naman yung sarili ko. napapabayaan ko na naman yung sarili ko. nawawalan na naman ako ng paniniwala sa sarili kong mga desisyon. hindi ko na naman nakikita yung mga mas importanteng bagay na dapat inuuna ko kaysa sa sarili kong kasiyahan. nagiging makasarili na naman ako. mahirap maging masaya ng may nasasagasaan. pasensiya na lang siguro sa mga madadamay sa mga iniisip ko. pasensiya dahil ganito ako, at ganito na ako talaga. kailangan ko na nga talaga siguro ng pahinga, ng mahabang pahinga.

lost and found

2005-04-06T18:55:00.000+08:00

---Find a guy...

who calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

---Wait for the boy...

who kisses your forehead,

who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

who holds your hand in front of his friends,

who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

I have found the one I've waited for.. ang saya. =)

Next time na lang yung kwento tungkol sa sem-ender nung Apr1.. tinatamad pa ang mga daliri ko sa pagta-type eh.. =p

uno stacko research

2005-03-29T08:25:00.000+08:00

Good luck.. dapat ngayon eh tinatapos ko yung catalogs (at shempre, kina-catalog ko yung uno stacko dito..) ko sa 62 at nagre-review na rin para sa exam mamaya.. eh ang kaso, di na ko makapag-isip ng matino dahil parang kulang ata ako sa tulog. Tapos eto pa, pasurf-surf lang sa net. Depressing na ito.. =/ Sana may maisagot ako sa exam at may maipasa na matino mamaya.. Sana ok lang si Papa sa St. Luke's.. Sana pautangin ako ni Shamir dahil wala akong baon..

***What it means when girls do what they do...***

When a GIRL is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at youu with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL calls you everyday, she is wants you to know she thinks of you.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, she wants to pamper and be pampered.

When a GIRL texts you everyday, she wants you to reply at least once.

When a GIRL says I love you, she needs to say it so she can believe it herself.

When a GIRL says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a GIRL says "i miss you", no one in this world can miss you more than that.

last summer

2005-03-16T07:26:00.000+08:00

Nung nag-English 11 ako last summer para mapunan ang kakulangan ko ng Humanities 1, na-bore ang buhay ko. Buti na lang eh nagkaroon dun ng discussion tungkol sa Japanese lit na kahit kaunti eh medyo interesante naman.. Ayaw na ayaw ko pa naman ang nagre-recite kaya lalo tuloy ako napaghahalataan na walang pakialam sa klase. Laking pasasalamat ko ng i-discuss namin sa Pablo Neruda dahil nagkaroon ako ng gana sumali sa discussion kahit yung tipong comments lang chuva.. at syempre, hindi naman considered recitation yun. Sinabihan na nga ako ng prof ko na 5 na daw ako sa kanya sa recitation eh.. good luck di ba? Anyway, natauhan naman ako nung last meeting dahil nag-effort ako for the first, at syempre last time na rin yun, na mag-recite. In fairness, ang haba pa din ng sinabi ko kasi analyzation yun ng setting ng storya na binasa namin. Salamat na lang sa prof ko at ipinasa nya ako ng may medyo mataas pa na grade. Enjoy talaga ako nung discussion ni Neruda.. kahit di ako kasali at nakikinig lang, na-enjoy ko pa rin yung topic. Share ko na rin yung favorite ko dun sa 20 poemas nya.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starry and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.

'The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.

I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.

How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

To think that I do not have her.

To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.

And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.

The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all.

In the distance someone is singing.

In the distance.

My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.

My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.

We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.

My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's.

She will be another's.

As she was before my kisses.

Her voice, her bright body.

Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms.

My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer

and these the last verses that I write for her.

-Pablo Neruda

Loving Each Other

2005-02-20T15:05:00.000+08:00

Don't think in terms of forever. Think of now, and forever will take care of itself. Grow up together, constantly. Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in your relationships. Lasting relationships don't just happen, they are created. Recognize that all relationships cannot be forever. People die eventually. Recognize their temporary quality, but continue to act as if they are permanent. A relationship is like an empty box. It remains empty unless you put in more than you take out. Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Take your time. Remove price tags from people. Everyone has worth; the excitement lies in the discovery of their value. Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give too much, if you're giving willingly.
Don't feel as if you are required to spend your every waking hour with those you love. Move aside from time to time and allow them a separate space, too. Realize that you always have choices. It's up to you. Don't hold on to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. There are many times you may want to give up on a relationship, but you should never give up on relating. Keep the child in you alive but don't act like it. Try to see people as good and beautiful, even when they seem to be trying hard not to appear so.
Loving doesn't mean you have to change yourself, it means you have found someone who values you for who you are, and whom you value just the same. It doesn't mean that you have to accept everything that comes to your relationship, but you should try to learn from it and then love each other deeper. Don't let little things pass. They go on to become big things. Talk everything out. If you feel something is not right, be the first to act on it.
Being jealous isn't bad. It's supposed to come in once in a while. It doesn't mean you don't trust each other, but that you are not sure of the things that will happen next. Never let a day pass without talking out your problems. Never underestimate the power of words. A soft answer may turn away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
If you take time to talk together each day, you'll never become strangers. Let "I love you" be the last words you say to each other every time you part. It doesn't hurt to express your feelings especially if it can make someone happy. Value yourself. You should learn to love yourself first before you can open up your heart to another. We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are. Don't say goodbye if you still want to try. Don't risk what you can't afford to lose.

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Galing ito sa edsamail email files ko.. ang tagal na nito. Wala lang.

hapi balentayms

2005-02-14T02:02:00.000+08:00

I'm glad that this day/week turned out better than what I was expecting. What the hell was I expecting? Broken hearts and continuing a miserable life. I hope I don't have to expect that again, ever.
Today is the day of those who have hearts.. still. Sayang, I think I lost mine na.

Found this while surfing the net.. medyo totoo siya.. hehe..

A	Ambivalent
N	Natural
D	Dysfunctional
R	Radical
E	Explosive
A	Amazing

J	Jolly
E	Edgy
S	Spiritual
S	Sexy
I	Ideal
C	Courageous
A	Adventurous

in denial

2005-02-12T11:36:00.000+08:00

sino kaya? ang sad ng earth.. umulan nga nung isang araw eh.. nakikiramay sya sa kalungkutan ko.. ayoko na magreklamo, kasi wala naman yun magagawa di ba? ang pwede ko na lang gawin eh wag pansinin yung mga nagpapalungkot sa akin.. kaso hindi in effective eh. life sucks.

2005-01-30T22:08:00.000+08:00

para ito kay concerned citizen..

gloomy Sunday

2005-01-30T22:02:00.000+08:00

This past week was very trying.. I did things I wouldn't have done had I been in my normal self. Ano kaya ang nangyayari sa akin? Meron ba akong alternate personality na ngayon lang lumalabas? I'm so tired already, pakiramdam ko ang tanda-tanda ko na at handa na akong mamatay. I've been thinking about quitting everything since that jerk ass ruined my life back in high school. And right now, even if I don't care about him anymore, I still feel as worthless as before. What do I have to do to get over myself? =(

Moving on, I got these short quotations from an email. I've read these before but I never really thought about how these mean to me until now.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
Yeesh, tama ba ito? Parang parinig sa akin ah.. Kaya nga ganito na ako ngayon eh, nagpapakamanhid na lang. Sa mga nakilala ko kasing "wrong people", parang ayoko ng magkaroon pa ng mga bagong kakilala. =/

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look solong at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
Another one, ouch! In fairness, tinalikuran ko na ang isang closed door sa buhay ko. Pero I think, meron pang ibang closed doors akong hindi naiiwanan.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back!Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if itdoesn't, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush onsomeone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes alifetime to forget someone.
Nakakalungkot naman.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a darkday seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Good luck, sana makakita ako ng guy na kaya akong patawanin.

blogthings.com

2005-01-30T16:00:00.000+08:00

okay din pala itong site na 'to http://www.blogthings.com/ .. madaming kagaguhang pwedeng mapulot. mahilig pa nman ako sa ganitong klaseng lokohan:

What Age Do You Act?

You Are 25 Years Old

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.You have great vision and can be very insightful.In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul.

save the dolphins!

2005-01-23T01:56:00.000+08:00

yeah, it would be nice to do that.. pero since I won't be able to go about saving dolphins yet, maybe I should try saving myself first neh? my life is one big jigsaw puzzle.. and I am yet to find all the pieces of it before I can start putting it together.. Lord knows how hard it is to find the RIGHT piece to put in its RIGHT place. I've been trying in vain to do everything I can to be happy and content for as long as I can remember and yet I always fail. Recently, I realized that maybe I should stop trying to fix up my life repeatedly.. kasi it will never end. I would do everything over and over again, and still feel as empty as before. Maybe even emptier, and a whole lot lonelier. I resolved to trying to help other people fix their lives instead.. I don't how I would do it, I don't know if I should, but I would love to try. I think that right now my purpose in life is not for myself but for other people.. Damn, how this sucks... pero es verdad.

yun pala!

2005-01-21T01:11:00.000+08:00

shiyets.. iniisip ko kung ano nga ba yung dahilan ng pag-iyak ko dun sa kwento ko sa unang post dito sa blog... 6820! ahahahahahahaha!!!! hay naku, tutulog na ko.. constipated na nman ako eh.. wehehehehe... =P

2005-01-21T00:04:00.000+08:00

me and my two icky sibs, hehe.. halloween 2004

little things

2005-01-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

medyo nagpahinga ako sa paglalagay ng laman dito sa blog na ito.. kasi nga naman, makakalimuting bata talaga ako. kahit anong gawin ko, hindi ko naaalala pwera na lang kung meron ng email notification chuva akong matatanggap. anywho, wala naman masyadong nangyari sa linggong ito, o sa last week pa na nakapagpabago ng buhay ko. hindi naman ako yumaman, at hindi rin ako naging topnotcher so nothing counts as a drastic change. one thing that I'm happy about is having the chance of getting to know one of my classmates.. at shempre, OA na kung sasabihin ko pa yun name nya dito. gusto kong i-try na magkwento na walang binabanggit na pangalan. hulaan na lang kung may makakabasa nito. =) si classmate ay mabait na obvious naman noon pa. ang hindi ko lang alam noon na alam ko ngayon ay concerned citizen din pala siya, meaning, meron pala siyang capability maging concerned sa ibang tao. I hope that previous sentence doesn't seem offending or what, kasi that's not my intention. napkabait na tao ni classmate, and having him in my roster of friends is quite an achievement actually, since he doesn't seem to like to socialize much. more to come from classmate, we're still pretty much on the getting-to-know-you stage, and I'm contented with that.
moving over, ayoko talaga ng 199.cguro, gusto ko yung subject, pero hindi ko talaga gusto si "bricci". i hope "it" evaporates from the earth. ayoko na sanang maging masama kaso I can't help it with "it" eh.. aaaaaargh!!! sana matapos ko itong semester na ito na hindi ko kinakailangan mag-repeat ng subject. ayoko na ng further disappointment.. baka magkaroon ng reruns ang suicidal episodes ko.

2005-01-20T23:10:00.000+08:00

this was last halloween 2004.. mahaba ang hair ko diyan

another day in paradise

2005-01-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

yeah right.. this day started out so badly I thought I was being punished for my freaking sins. I cried my eyes out today, literally.. nilugaw na po ang mata ko sa lugawan.. to feel better, I treated myself to a hazelnut-topped mocha frappe + a tuna sandwich courtesy of Nescafe Cafe (haha, redundant ata) while I was in Glorietta kanina. good luck sa kin, parang nanganganib na naman ang newly-plastered ipin ko dahil sa kakakain ko.

bwakangnaknaknak!!! may gf na si marbin! this is unbelievable to the deepest pits of hell! hahahahah!

ngayong madaling araw pa rin

2005-01-05T01:41:00.000+08:00

tinginingining#$&#@!!! sabi ko na nga ba at hindi talaga ako maaasahan dito sa blog-blog na ito eh.. ang hirap kasanayan!
parang hindi na ata kaya mag-process ng utak ko sa antok.

madaling araw na naman

2005-01-05T01:38:00.000+08:00

at siyempre pa, puyat na naman ako. ano pa nga ba? may klase lang naman ako ng 10am tomorrow, na dapat ay 9am nandun ka na... good luck na lang pala sa akin. napakaligalig ng gabing to.. medyo naalog na naman ang utak ko kanina.. bigla na lang akong napaiyak ng dahil sa mababaw na dahilan, tapos hindi na ko makatigil. ewan ko naman kung bakit. basta iniisip ko, "wala ba akong karapatang umiyak kahit minsan?" ayun na, iyak na nga..ang sama ng pakiramdam ko. prang ang sakit ng loobin ko na hindi ko mapagtanto kung ano talaga ang dahilan dahil madaming pwedeng maging dahilan. naawa nga ako kay manic dahil nasisisi ko siya.. pero in fairness, kasalanan nga nya. hah! ewan ko ba kaming dalawa, hindi ko kami maintindihan. gusto ko kami, pero ayokong maging kami? gets? no? ako rin, di ko talaga lubos maintindihan. sana maisaayos ko ang mga nararamdaman ko para hindi maging pabigat sa hinaharap. gusto ko na mahiga, ang daming lamok dito sa sala eh.. sige, susubukan kong ipagpatuloy ang blog na ito..sana umepek.